Choices you’ve made.

You’ve made your choice,

You’ve picked your side.

Just one time when I desperately needed you,

Without thinking, you picked your side.

You promised to stay didn’t you?

You promised we’ll grow up together,

You promised to be with me,

You promised to never break me again,

But then how come you did?

Remember that day I was by your side when no body was?

Remember that time when I made you laugh?

Remember that time when you left me with a nasty wound bleeding in the middle of the road?

Remember when I was alone begging for you, screaming ,but you….

You already picked your side.

It’s not that I hate you, I never will.

It’s not that I don’t want you with anyone else, I’d never do that to you.

You met me,

I helped you out of a broken place,

I did everything to be a good friend,

Faught with everyone,

For you.

You were always my first priority,

Always my biggest influence,

But I was never yours.

I was always your last preference.

I was always ‘an option’.

You pretend,

You always pretend,

Pretend to be someone better,

Someone funnier,

Someone cooler.

You wanted people around you when you already had me,

You were everything,

Everything I needed,

But you picked your side,

Left me on the pedestrian,

With a bleeding heart and a dying soul.

But I’ll be ok.

I’ll be amazing and maybe… Maybe one day I’ll look back at you with a smile ❤

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Him

One day I was scrolling through my Instagram feed. I came across this meme that said, “girls say ‘Hi’ boys dedicate them a song”. I usually don’t comment on posts like this but I don’t know why on that day, I decided to comment.

Around 20 mins later I get a notification,

“Who_cares replied to your comment”

I never heard of this guy, I should’ve ignored it, but one that one miraculous day I didn’t. I checked it out and I didn’t recognize that song that’s why I didn’t give it much thought. Cut to 15 mins later I get another notification,

” Who_cares wants to send you a msessege”

Opening that message was the disicion I never knew was gonna be so important and cherished.❤

If I only made bad disicions you were the only thing I’ll never ever regret.

Ps : Another version of everyone’s story.

Reasons.

what is depression and who can you deal with the person suffering from it.

Often I come across people in my life that asks me the reason behind the scars on my body. When I refuse to tell them they persume one of the following reasons:

1. Maybe it’s because of a boy.

2. Attention seeker alirt!!!

3. She is crazy.

4. Alone?

5. You just want attention *moves like jagger*

I don’t tell them because they really don’t care about the reason, they want to know because they are curious or maybe because they wanna break the ice. ( Because it’s a real conversation starter) they don’t really wanna know the reason. If they did they wouldn’t persume.

People who know me often ask me a question

What does depression feel like?

And my answered changed through out the years. But when I got to taste what real loneliness feels like the answer became as clear as a summer sky.

Depression is like a shape shifter, one day it is as small as a firefly in the palm of a bear, and the next it’s the bear.

Depression is a state of your mind when you become hypersensitive to every single sensation and it goes to the level when you feel too much and nothing all together. ( Makes sense? )

It’s that feeling where everyone you know is out there on the beach enjoying the sun and sand and you are out there in the middle of the sea drowning, screaming and nobody hears you .

Next time you see a person with scars , don’t persume..

Ask her the story and them stfu and listen .

Text

I texted you last night.

You said you have nothing to say, but I knew, I knew you were lieing, I knew better… I knew you.

Even after saying that you had nothing to say, you said things that left be bleeding.

You left my heart bleeding.

You said things that you shouldn’t have, you said things that you knew were gonna hurt me.. I kinda think you wanted to. You wanted me to hurt.

Being the kind of person I am, I never cry on my pain.

I cry when I see a cute puppy video on Facebook

Or I cry when the character in my favourite book dies.

But never on my pain.

But you…. You made me cry.

I don’t know why because I just wanted to give you happiness, wanted to be the reason for your smile, but you did the opposite. You became the reason for my nightmares, the reason for my anxiety the reason behind the fresh scar on my wrist.

Now that I’m sitting here on the metro station feeling the warm air on my face and ache in my heart, I wish you well. I don’t wanna be bitter or angry or anything in between.

If I say so myself I don’t want this I don’t want you to know that I exist anymore.

I don’t hate you, I don’t think I hate anyone. I don’t feel anything towards you because you don’t even deserve my feelings anymore.

Now that you are with her being happy and healthy, I wish you well.

But I don’t wish you another me.

Because as I’m here Turing into a whole galaxy

  1. You’re still gonna be put there chasing stars.